Onna Pleasure Muse Interview - Adriana Rizzolo

Can you share more about yourself and your journey? Who is Adriana?

Adriana is an adventurous, free-spirited mystic from the Mediterranean (originally from New Jersey). Her path has taken her on an intense journey through the realms of Tantra in India and the worship of the Black Madonna. For over 15 years, she (I love speaking about myself in third person lol,) has delved into various healing modalities, teaching yoga and tantric meditation, and later immersing herself in pre-Christian pagan worship of the Earth as a Goddess. Her journey began with a transformative experience of sobriety brought about by the grace of the goddess Durga, following the loss of her father to addiction. This personal tragedy shattered her world, but also sparked a profound shift in her consciousness, leading her to dedicate her life to healing and soul initiation work. Over the years, the goddess has revealed herself to Adriana in many forms, but her devotion lies strongly with the dark goddess, including Klai, Durga and the Black Madonna (and others she won't name here). Adriana sees herself as an agent for dismantling patriarchal and oppressive systems, both externally and internally. She is a somatic sex educator, having studied extensively with Deborah Sundahl, a trailblazer in women's pelvic health and pleasure studies. Adriana is deeply immersed in meditation, embodiment practices, dance, intimacy, ritual theater, and astrology (with a focus on embodied astrology ofc!)

How do you personally define pleasure, and how has your understanding evolved over time?

Pleasure, for me, is a gateway to accessing a deeper truth and reality that resides within each of us. Unfortunately, many of us have been conditioned to feel unsafe in our pleasure due to the inherent letting go and surrender that accompanies it. My understanding of pleasure has undergone a significant transformation over time. Fifteen years ago, I had no concept of true pleasure. I was caught in a cycle of avoidance and addiction, seeking pleasure in destructive behaviors and experiences. Now, I find pleasure in activities such as chanting the names of God, engaging in self-practices, and holding sacred space for women to connect with and embody their divine feminine energy. Pleasure encompasses more than just the sexual realm; it can be experienced in moments of intimate connection where we feel seen and truly witness another. Compassion and social justice emerge within the context of pleasure, as claiming our birthright of belonging requires transforming our own suffering and pain into empathy and purpose.

What role does pleasure play in your daily life, and how do you prioritize it?

"What a question!" I prioritize pleasure, but in a way that it has become integral to my life. It's hard to even notice. That's why I like this question, as it helps me delve deeper beneath the surface, which is where I always want to go. Everything from how I care for my body to the treatments I receive, which is important for my work. Boundaries are a major way I prioritize pleasure! By finding the truth and confidence to easily say no to what isn't aligned, and continuing inner work to find enjoyment in moments. I prioritize pleasure by not taking the present moment for granted, not wanting to miss it, but rather recognizing it as a sacred, alive thing. I prioritize pleasure by supporting my family by showing up with my aliveness, honesty, joy, and nurturing presence.

Do you have any pleasure rituals?

I regularly engage in self-massaging with Ayurvedic oils, as well as explore self-pleasuring and Yoni mapping, connecting deeply with my Yoni in ritual and prayer. This is an important practice for individuals to explore. I also studied traditional drumming and dance for womb healing from the Mediterranean and pre-Christian times with Alessandra Belloni. These rituals involve releasing and freeing our bodies from conditioning and traumas, which we perpetuate by ignoring our own bodies and disregarding consent. Drumming and dance are crucial parts of these rituals, and I incorporate the elements, particularly fire, extensively. Fire ceremonies, singing, and chanting the names of the divine are regular occurrences in my practice.

Can you share an experience where you discovered a new source of pleasure that you hadn't considered before?

Let me tell you about this new source of pleasure I discovered through exploring the G-spot. I had always known about my ability to ejaculate and experience internal orgasms, but it wasn't until I delved deeper into the emotionally healing and feminine power that the G-spot holds that I truly understood its potential. Through the awakening practice, I encountered layers of grief, frustration, fear, and rage alongside the profound physical and sacred aliveness that emerged when I approached my G-spot with surrender rather than expectation. This is what fascinates me about the mystical and tantric path. Over time, the pleasure offered by the G- spot continued to deepen as I revisited and learned more about it, embracing its unexpected, uncontrollable, and wild nature, and recognizing that it is a part of who I am.

How do cultural and societal influences impact our understanding and pursuit of pleasure?

Cultural and societal influences have a significant impact on our comprehension and pursuit of pleasure, which is quite infuriating to me. Many women and individuals with vulvas are afraid to explore or acknowledge their own bodies. Instead, they willingly engage in practices such as client medicine or extensive silent meditations, ignoring the fact that they have a physical form. This deeply saddens and enrages me. My passion lies in assisting individuals in dismantling societal pressures, norms, and systemic traumas through these practices. We must unravel deeply rooted patriarchal spirituality, beauty standards, and any other nonsense that obstructs our access to the sacred, living, feminine power within us. This power resides within our very beings, regardless of the physical space we occupy.

Are there specific activities, experiences, or environments that consistently bring you a sense of pleasure or joy? What advice would you give to others who may be hesitant to explore or prioritize pleasure in their lives?

Find a guide! Someone who resonates with you and makes you feel more comfortable being yourself. Someone who understands trauma but won't diagnose your experience. Find and remember what makes you feel good. Simple things like being in nature, eating nurturing foods, or being with good friends. Don't lose hope when the shadows emerge; it's an indication that you are becoming safer within yourself and that there's more to be felt and freed. Through this courageous process, we come home layer by layer into our bodies and hearts, expanding our capacity to love and be loved. Prioritizing our own experience of safety, aliveness, wild expression, rooted in truth, and the joy that is our birthright, regardless of our experiences or the state of the world, allows us to serve from a clearer place connected to our soul, which is love, joy, and unbound energy, sometimes referred to as emotion.

Let's get a bit personal. What have been the biggest challenges in your intimate relationships?

I have hit intense rock bottoms emotionally in terms of codependency. Being sober, relationships, especially close ones, have consistently been the most challenging, confronting, and painful experiences in my life. The biggest challenges in my current intimate relationships, which are very different from 10 years ago when I knew nothing about relating consciously, are giving myself the space, especially in my luteal phase, to rest and be in a receptive place. This way, my rage and emotional dysregulation don't come out in unhelpful ways, especially with my partner.

Biggest lessons you have learned about intimate relationships?

The biggest lesson I've learned is that I can't do them alone. I need support in my life, including a therapist, healers, coaches, daily support, and programs like Al-Anon and ACA. Women's circles and spending time alone in nature give me the perspective I need to relate authentically to my partner and friends. These relationships require work, but hopefully, they also bring enjoyment and recognition. I'm grateful for all the guides, teachers, mentors, and friends who have supported me on my journey of feeling safe in relationships. Attachment wounding often arises in close relationships, and the work I do with others now encompasses that.


If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say about sexuality and intimacy?

You can choose!!!! Find your healthy anger and aggression, move and let yourself be moved. Explore your desires freely and find your way. You are already enough. You are whole within no matter what. I love you. I am here for you always.

When do you feel a strong emotional or spiritual connection to a partner?

For me, it happens during moments of deep lovemaking and prayer, even if we are physically separated in a temple in India. When we are enjoying comedy or things that bring in joy or love. Definitely when dancing! There is something eternal about my fiancé and I's connection, which is also reflected in our love for God.

How do you approach discussing desires, boundaries, and expectations in your romantic relationships?

I find that trial and error works well, and I often involve a third party, to help bring clarity if needed. It's a practice for us, and we regularly incorporate rituals, especially when we are experiencing difficulties in emotional, sexual, or daily connection. Since we both have a deep spiritual practice, we prioritize bringing God into our relationship to maintain clarity and express ourselves freely and safely. Intimacy is only possible when there is a risk, which can be challenging at times. However, it is also a catalyst for growth. We create a ritual with a fire ceremony, spiritual practices like mantras, and open up a dialogue by asking questions about what we would like to experience more in our relationship and what we would like to receive from each other. We don't process these answers immediately but rather allow possibilities to emerge. If there's a request that we know we cannot fulfill, we may discuss it at a later time. Overall, this approach has been beneficial for us.

Do you prefer deep connections with one person or broader connections with others?

I love going deep with one person, AND in a group. I am an Aquarius rising so I embody leading groups and also feeling like a lone wolf at times. I need both for sure.

Share something about yourself that most people don't know.

I used to be a cheerleader from the age of 5 to 15, but I eventually quit after I started taking LSD almost daily in high school. Getting thrown up in the air in a basket toss on acid is a whole other thing...

What does sensuality mean to you, and how do you embody it?

It's right here, as an energy. I embody it by pausing to feel and admit that it is right here in this precious, fleeting, miraculous moment. (deep breath).

If you could give one piece of advice to women about sex and desire, what would it be?

Find spaces you can practice on your own!!!! Keep a self pleasure practice and take yourself on dates, giving yourself what you want (even in your imagination,) this is how we heal trauma and reclaim our birthrights of pleasure, belonging, beauty and love.

Have you ever experienced heartbreak? How did you navigate through the grief?

Heartbreak is my middle name! Jk, but for real, I find the most erotic, honest and whole parts of us can only arise when we allow ourselves to be heartbroken. Our own and others too. Just look at the world, the polycrises, heartbreak is never too far if you are paying attention. One of the things I love about G-Spot orgasm is that you have to tap into surrendering to your emotions, to letting go. I always say we focus so much on God, G-Spot and Grief in Body Temple (our school) because those are all the things we can't control. They deserve a different kind of attention and love. 

Who inspires you when it comes to pleasure?

My beloved fiancé and all the women in my life that continue to get free as we age, and remember our true nature, that is, love.

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