12 Blowjob Mistakes You Didn’t Know You Were Making (And How to Turn Them Around)
Oral sex, particularly fellatio, is a tantalizing topic that often sparks curiosity and a bit of nervous excitement. Even though it's a common practice in many intimate relationships, it remains shrouded in myths and misconceptions.
Surprisingly, many women aren’t aware of how their performance is perceived because they rarely ask for or receive feedback from their partners. In an effort to shed light on this intimate act, we surveyed over a hundred men from our followers to uncover common mistakes and areas for improvement. As a few bold respondents have candidly shared, some women might not realize how much room there is for improvement, often going through the motions without fully considering their partner's specific desires.
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But for now, let’s dive into the most common mistakes to avoid.
1. Not Taking the Time
Rushing through oral sex as if it’s just another task on a to-do list is a major misstep. Instead, use this opportunity to slow down and savour each moment, deepening your intimacy and connection with your partner. Take the time to explore different techniques, rhythms, and speeds. This isn’t a race; it’s about savouring the journey and truly appreciating your partner and their body, not just reaching the finish line. By slowing down, you foster a more pleasurable and connected experience for both you and your partner.
2. Going Straight to the Penis Without Teasing
Diving straight into the main act without any buildup can rob the experience of anticipation and excitement. Teasing can be a thrilling part of foreplay, so start by kissing and licking the surrounding areas, like the inner thighs or lower abdomen. Use your hands to gently caress and explore, building up to the moment of oral contact. This teasing not only increases your partner’s arousal but also makes the eventual focus on the penis more intense and pleasurable.
3. Keeping Your Eyes Closed
Eye contact is HOT! Eye contact during oral sex can be incredibly powerful and intimate. If you keep your eyes closed, it might seem like you’re not fully engaged or connected. Open your eyes and occasionally make eye contact with your partner. This simple act can increase intimacy and help you gauge your partner’s reactions, adding an exciting layer to the experience.
4. Not Being Enthusiastic
Enthusiasm is a crucial ingredient for great sex, and oral sex is no exception. If you approach it with reluctance or indifference, your partner will likely pick up on those vibes, which can dampen the mood. Show genuine interest and excitement! Use verbal and non-verbal cues to express your pleasure and let your partner know you’re enjoying yourself. A little enthusiasm goes a long way in making the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
5. Not Using Your Hands
Don’t limit yourself to using just your mouth. Your hands can add a whole new dimension to the experience. Use them to stroke, gently squeeze, or provide different types of stimulation. Your hands can also give your mouth a break or help you vary the intensity and rhythm. Remember, the more tools you use, the better the experience will be.
6. Being Quiet
Silence during oral sex can be misinterpreted as boredom or lack of enjoyment. Make some noise! Moan, sigh, or use verbal cues to let your partner know you’re having a good time. This not only reassures your partner that you’re enjoying yourself, but it also helps create a more intimate and erotic atmosphere. Don’t be shy to tell your partner what you enjoy or ask them what feels good. Communication is key!
7. Dry Mouth
A dry mouth can make oral sex uncomfortable and increase friction, which isn’t fun for anyone. Stay hydrated and consider using a natural flavoured lubricant or your saliva to keep things smooth and comfortable. A well-lubricated mouth will make the experience more pleasurable and enjoyable for both you and your partner.
8. Playing It Safe
Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new things! Sticking to a routine or being overly cautious can lead to predictability and boredom. Experiment with different techniques, speeds, and pressures to find out what feels best for your partner. Don’t shy away from incorporating new elements into your routine, such as using butt plugs or other toys that can add variety and excitement. You would be surprised how many men love having their prostate stimulated while feeling your mouth on their penis. Be open to suggestions and be adventurous with your approach. Variety is the spice of life, after all!
9. Not Enough Enthusiasm
A lack of genuine interest can negatively impact the experience. Show your partner that you’re invested in their pleasure. Be playful, experiment with new techniques, and use positive reinforcement to make the experience more enjoyable for both of you. A little effort and enthusiasm can make a big difference!
10. Too Much Teeth
Using too much teeth can be uncomfortable or even painful for your partner. Be mindful of how you use your mouth and avoid scraping or biting with your teeth. Instead, focus on using your lips, tongue, and the inside of your mouth to provide pleasurable sensations. If you’re unsure about your technique, don’t hesitate to ask your partner for feedback or adjust your approach as needed.
11. Treating It as a Bargaining Chip
Using oral sex as a way to negotiate or as a means to an end can detract from the experience and make it feel transactional. We were genuinely surprised to learn from the men we interviewed how frequently this approach is used by their partners. Such a mindset can foster resentment and reduce pleasure for both partners. Instead, treat it as a mutually enjoyable activity and focus on giving and receiving pleasure without any ulterior motives. Remember, sex should be fun and fulfilling for everyone involved!
12. Being Repulsed When He Comes
Showing visible disgust or aversion when your partner ejaculates can be a major turn-off and may make your partner feel self-conscious or rejected. If you’re uncomfortable with swallowing or having your partner ejaculate in your mouth, communicate your boundaries beforehand. Find a way to handle the situation that works for both of you, such as using a tissue or finishing with your hands. Communication and understanding are key to a positive experience.
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