Is Your Vibrator Ruining Your Sex Life?
Vibrator Addiction - Myth or Reality?
Vibrators have empowered women to experience pleasure which previously has been unavailable to them. Vibrators gift orgasms. What can be wrong with that?
Vibrators are great until a woman can only ever orgasm with one.
Women orgasm within seconds from some vibrators. No wonder that they get “hooked” on them, relying on the strong buzz for an orgasm. A vibrator is unbeatable. No lover can ever compare or replicate the sensations.
In a sexual culture based on performance which holds orgasm as the absolute goal of sex, using a vibrator is an easy way to orgasm fast and to feel sexually capable. Vibrator use is not an addiction. It is a dependency, a mental crutch.
Orgasming exclusively from a vibrator means one’s sexual experience is limited. There is a risk that, eventually, sex becomes unsatisfactory for a woman unless a vibrator is involved. Some women may feel inadequate or broken if unable to orgasm without the toy, often faking pleasure when making love with a partner.
Relying on vibrators for orgasms is a sexual comfort zone which keeps one stagnant in their pleasure experience. This kind of high-intensity pleasuring is not wrong. It it simply the tip of the iceberg of the female pleasure potential. There is a whole world of pleasure outside the vibrational realm.
Vibrators are like fast food. When all you eat are high sugary and salty foods, your body no longer experiences subtle flavours of fresh fruits and vegetables. Nothing wrong with craving high intensity bodily experiences. Just make sure you can enjoy the natural things in life too…especially on those days when you run out of batteries.
How does a vibrator dependency begin?
Many women, consciously and unconsciously feel shame about masturbation. Many kids are conditioned to feel uncomfortable about their sexuality. Masturbation is considered wrong and dirty. Therefore, teenagers masturbate in secret and seldom have the freedom and privacy to fully explore their own bodies. Thoughts of doing something morally wrong leads to vigorous hand movements in order to orgasm as fast as possible and complete the shameful act.
A teenage girl who secretly masturbates in the shower or her bedroom, brings this anxious habit into her adulthood with her. For most women, masturbation is usually a fast orgasmic tension release rather than long conscious self-pleasuring.
Slow self-pleasure masturbation where a woman takes time to feel her whole body and slowly build up to a sweet orgasm is often triggering at first. It makes one feel silly and uncomfortable. Touching oneself in a loving way is awkward because it has never been taught nor practiced.
Nothing is scarier than having to face your own naked vulnerability.
Most of us cant even accept our own beauty, intelligence and humour, let alone consciously make love to our naked body.
Vibrators are the perfect mental escape from the discomfort of vulnerability.
The intensity of the vibration is so strong that you don’t have time to feel into your discomfort. Most women have had plenty of orgasms like these where they’d be masturbating while planning dinner in the head or watching a movie while Mr.Buzzy was in between their legs.
Is Vibrator Dependency a Problem?
With a vibrator one does not require much mental presence to experience pleasure. When you’ve built a bodily habit like that over the years, it is not easy to experience similar pleasure sensations with a lover.
A vibrator dependency is problematic if it is the only way a woman can orgasm.
Vibrators are fantastic toys. Make sure they aren’t your only pleasure provider.
The first step out of of a vibrator dependency is changing one’s conditioned beliefs about masturbation and sex. When you are no longer feeling shame and chasing orgasms, you can explore limitless pleasure in the comfort of your own home and body.
If a woman wishes to expand her orgasm potential, discover new erogenous zones, enjoy partner sex and orgasm without a toy then a gentle vibrator detox is required.
When sex and masturbation are performed solely for the purpose of an orgasm then it is no wonder that sex toys win each time. When sex and masturbation turn from orgasm chasing to pleasure experiencing, vibrators become redundant.
A gentle “Vibrator Detox” is a great way to wean oneself from the Buzz. Going cold turkey is almost impossible and will leave one feeling sexually frustrated. By removing something from our daily lives, we have got to replace it with something else.
Re-teach the body to appreciate the finer sensations. Explore and gift yourself ALL pleasure, not just strong vibrations. It is time to introduce the concepts of slow self-pleasuring, slow sex, conscious penetration, orgasmic meditation, yoni self-massage and non-vibrating toys.
Time to discover new pleasure opportunities!
Be gentle and nurturing with yourself. For every 5 times that you masturbate, choose to do 3 times without a vibrator. Opt to explore non-vibrating toys such as ONNA pleasure toys. Other amazing non-vibrating toy materials are stainless steel, quality glass or wood.
Retrain your body to enjoy just your hands and concentrate on pleasure rather than orgasm when masturbating.
Take your time to self-pleasure.
Be patient.
Be loving.
Once a woman is no longer relying on the vibrator as her sole orgasm provider then she is able to enjoy sex with or without the toy whenever she wants.
To learn more about non-vibrating pleasure - masturbation practices, yoni self-massage and slow sex join our secret newsletter!
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About the Author:
Elena is the creator & author of The Yoni Empire. She is a Slow Sex & Pleasure Educator, a sex researcher, writer & lover of all things pleasure-related. She writes shamelessly about female sexuality and eroticism. A self-proclaimed Pussy Whisperer, Elena is the co-founder of Onna Lifestyle brand which designs natural gemstone slow pleasure toys for women. She is on a mission to nourish women, one orgasm at a time - connecting heart, body and mind. Follow her at @the_yoni_empire & @onna_lifestyle.
